‘A lot of people think I've missed out but I don't think I have. It's always been my decision. I've got experience now to defend myself against a monster director -- I couldn't before, I didn't know the game. ‘We moved here because we couldn't stand the bullshit that goes with being a so-called celebrity and living in a glass h ouse. We love making movies but we don't like all the hangers-on, all the pretence that goes into this business. I have a reputation for being difficult as well as being under John's influence. They think I am just a body for him to channel through.' She and John Derek have for the most part been a working couple package.Now, she travels and does deals on her own. ‘I never felt dependent on him but at ther same time I think I knew deep inside that this was all too much for me to handle alone. It's a certain type of dependency but it's also a partnership and sharing. Looking back on myself I could never have handled all the attention “10” brought. ‘I met John twenty years ago. It's amazing, isn't it? I ‘ve changed so much. I thought at the time I was very adult and mature and grown but now when I look back at myself, at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 -- up top about 32 I was very young, very, very, very young. But you never realise that at the time. I wasn't a woman.' She is now. And part of the ‘Playboy' deal and the publicity is aimed at keeping the family's future intact and she has a new film to be released shortly in America titled ‘Billy The Third' which she calls ‘a chilly thriller.' John Derek,68, had a heart attack seven years ago and suffered a slight stroke in 1991. It made him even more aware of his own mortality and the 30 year ago difference in his marriage. He thinks of ten, fifteen years down the line and says:” It will be awful for her because I will be slowly falling apart and no matter what she says the person she fell in love with won't be there anymore.' He knows his wife. She dismisses his concerns with:'I'm not going to worry about anything until it happens. It's not my nature. I very much live for the moment and if it's a good day it's a good day. ‘And if tomorrow is supposed to be a bad dayI'll wait until tomorrow and deal with it when it comes. Which just seems logical to me because you can't predict how you are going to react to something. That's what I'm told so why should I try? He always said I'd leave but I don't, I don't. |
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